Bonus Cut Poetry: “Working Title: Go Fuck Yourself” by Abby Conklin

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This is Bonus Cut Poetry, a series that features original poems by Bonus Cut staff, artists and YOU! In this series, our mission is to bring people together in poetry, share stories and display wonderful artistic pieces. If you would like to have your poems in the next Bonus Cut Poetry installment, just email us at bonuscut@gmail.com

This installment features Bonus Cut’s own Abby Conklin.

Go Fuck Yourself
By: Abby Conklin 

I want to vomit
the last two years.
Uproot from my gut
the relationship, break
up, the before plus
its after.  The cramped
hiccups of crying
on my apartment floor.
A mind wreaking havoc
at all hours of the day
hazed over with the effort
of being awake.  Months-

months

months of fighting
for what turned out
to be nothing.  The getting
over, the moving on.  Enough
realizations to fill
meeting notes’ margins
on mornings after nights
walled with twisting dreams.
Shaking it all off, trying
to get the blood gone stale
to move.

I want to vomit it all
in my hands- my whole
life since you, and hold
it out as if it is the answer
you seem to still be searching
for.  Here.
Here is what I have made
for myself, and did you want
it back, strangling keeper
of dreams?  I seem to remember
everything I had being consumed,
teeth first, by you.  Here, take
it.  Make a meal of your poison:
the ways in which I
do not need you.

 

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